We all have (or know) that one kid - the one that makes friends and teachers say, “They’re just such a funny kid.” Surprise your favorite comedian kiddo by being the one to make them laugh for a change, with some of our favorite family-friendly jokes, puns, and riddles. No banana knock-knock jokes, here!
If you spend time with children regularly, you know that there’s nothing like hearing a genuine laugh of sheer delight and absolute silliness. Waiting in line at your favorite theme park, or sitting around a summer fire, a solid repertoire of jokes for kids is just plain useful. If your kids are old enough to memorize riddles for themselves, they can pull their favorites from this list and crack up their friends (we all know that when kids start telling their own jokes, the odds of them making sense is about 50/50). We rounded up over 40 family-friendly jokes, so you can bookmark this list and keep coming back to it.
- What can you catch, but never throw? A cold
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine? A slowpoke!
- What does the ocean do when it sees its friends? It waves!
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems!
- What animal can you always find at a baseball game? A bat!
- Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
- What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
- How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket!
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- Why did the student eat their homework? Because the teacher told them it would be a piece of cake!
- Why do vampires seem sick all the time? They’re always coffin!
- Why can’t a hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
- Why did the cookie go to the nurse? It felt crummy!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why couldn’t the pony sing “Happy Birthday”? It was a little horse!
- Why didn’t the teddy bear ask for dessert? Because he was stuffed!
- Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies!
- Why was the broom late? It over-swept!
- Why is Cinderella bad at soccer? She’s always running away from the ball!
- What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel
- Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs!
- Why wouldn’t the shrimp share its treasure? It was a little shellfish!
- What kind of dog does a magician have? A Labracadabrador!
- Where do pencils come from? Pennsylvania!
- Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers? They’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
- What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why can’t you tell a joke to an egg? It might crack up!
- What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish!
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
- Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!
- What do you call a huge pile of cats? A meow-tain!
- Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window? They wanted to see a butterfly!
- What do pirates pay for corn? A buck an ear!
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels!
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck
- How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it!
- What do you do when a lemon gets sick? Give it lemon-aid!
- Why are peppers the best at archery? They habanero!
- How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
- What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple!
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